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Saturday, July 14, 2007 at 12:08 PM
Why? Why must there always be irrelevant things caused? You're just so adamant in yourself. You're never understanding how we're feeling. You go your way and can even come up with such excuses. Im 16 and Im not dumb. I feel so useless, so broken but who can give me consolation? None and only Him. & I thank God for it. Haven't you repent? How much forgiveness do you want from us? We can forgive, but will you repent? I thought you changed, you matured or should I say become better. Now? I think you never did. You never.

You would never understand. I cannot condone to this. Im really SICK OF EVERY THING YOU DO. How much trouble, hurt, pain, time, problems DO YOU WANNA CAUSE? I HAD ENOUGH, I DONT WANNA SAY IT ANYMORE. CAN YOU UNDERSTAND? HOW MUCH EFFORT WE PUT INTO YOU AND YOU'RE DOING THIS ONCE MORE AND GIVING SUCH STUPID EXCUSE. CAN YOU WAKE UP FROM YOUR DREAMLAND?

I WANNA SCREAM OUT,
BUT I FORBID MYSELF TO,
I DONT WANT ANY WORRIES,
BUT I CANNOT STOP THEM
I WANNA STOP
BUT CAN I?

Again and again. You took our words for granted and left us there to weep, to seek, to dry up. You said you care, but do you know the real meaning of CARE. You dont, because if you do, you wont be doing this again. I feel so heartbroken, I feel as if I've not done my part. You wont understand, because you're not matured enough. You dont wanna grow up, you dont wanna face reality, you wanna stick your head low and see things from your own stand, but what about us? Does it mean that because of your own foolishness you can cause the people around you to get hurt? You dont want this to happen? But you're doing it. THRICE, MANY COUNTLESS TIMES. I had enough, WO ZHEN DE SHOU GOU LE. Forget it. Im happy enough to vent my sorrows here. I cannot bear to let anyone see it on me. I dont want worries, I dont want answers. Sigh..

Nonetheless, I never feel as if im totally gone because I prayed. I know His there for me even when im so down. His there to lift me up. Thank God for answering my countless prayers. He stands a part in all this that happen, because He wants me to learn to forgive. Whatever He does, has a reason although I might not understand it.

Thank God for answering my prayers,
Thank God for bringing peace into our hearts,
Thank God for your soothing words,
Thank God for to bring me up when Im down,
Thank God for ridding all darkness that strikes upon me,
Thank God for everything that happen.

I can never be thankful enough but to Him. (:

Thank you so much to those that help, especially those good buddies of mine. You know who you are. Thank God you were there with me, if not i'll feel so alone and lost. Take care everyone. Still, drink lots of water. Till then, Ciaos.

Romans 8:38-39
Nothing can seperate us from the love of God.

Luke 17:3-4
If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you, and he says, 'I repent,' forgive him.

But i cant seem to do what Luke says. I let anger overcome me and I cannot be calm again. She dont understand and do self-reflection on her own charactera dn behaviour. She expects me to talk to her nicely and calmly when she did things to make us worry and hurt us. Hai.. I need God's peace and calmness to handle things. This is a big hit back to me.